


When My Name Was Kazumasa

by xDemonPonx



Category: Alice Nine
Genre: AU, Hell, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-19
Updated: 2014-09-19
Packaged: 2018-02-18 00:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2329118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xDemonPonx/pseuds/xDemonPonx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Keeper watches over the gates of hell, guiding those who are delivered to the afterlife. He never questions ethics until one day a boy who committed suicide named Hiroto shows up.  **MULTI-CHAP**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1/2

**Author's Note:**

> Based a bit off the anime Hell Girl. Title from a nook called When My Name Was Keioko but I forget who by

It wasn't part of The Keeper's job to question ethics. He didn't have to think about if a person deserved to be here or not. All he had to do was ferry souls delivered to him across the lake to the gates of hell. It wasn't like he controlled the pain and suffering there.

He lay on his stomach and dangled a hand in the tricking stream glowing purple in the twilight. This world was perpetual twilight. A permanent in-between, never day or night. The orange sky, the almost-but-not-quite faded sun, the babbling stream his only companions for countless centuries now. It didn't matter, the tranquility of being alone suited The Keeper. Humans were just useless and annoying. He ignored the part of him that had been in his heart for a long time, the part that craved companionship.

A bell rang out across the landscape, telling The Keeper of a waiting soul at the edge of the lake. He stood up, sighed, brushed his black hair behind his ears and smoothed out his black kimono. Another useless human trash to deliver to the wastebin.

He approached the lake and saw a woman sitting in the boat. He climbed in and pushed off, begging this worthless person's final journey

“Where am I? What happened?” She asked casually, as if she still believed she might be dreaming.

“You're at the gates of hell where you are taken to your fate”

“WHAT?” she screamed “Why me?! Surely there are worse people?!”

“I don't know or judge your deeds” said The Keeper “I just deliver your soul.”

“So you just follow orders without question?” She asked “Don't you ever wonder if a person deserved it? If you're doing the right thing?”

“'Right' and 'wrong' are concepts of the living and hold no place here” said The Keeper.

“But doesn't it ever bother you? Stuck in this place neither living nor dead, blindly accepting your duty?”

The Keeper didn't answer as gigantic black gates loomed ahead of them, so tall and wide the top and sides couldn't be seen. On them was written “最終的な死”

“Wait, what will happen to me in there?” The woman asked.

“Your fate is not in my hands. I don't know what awaits”

“You don't know or you don't care?” She asked “You're just as bad, if not worse than the judge who puts people here! At leas kami-sama knows what we did and what awaits, all you care about is getting souls across the lake! You don't care what has happened or how we spend eternity!”

“I entrust this soul to hell” whispered The Keeper.

Thousands of disembodied hands appeared though the gates. Not that the gates opened, they just melted though. As she screamed, they pulled her through the still-closed gates. The last thing she heard was The Keeper whispering 'I leave you to your fate' and the last thing she saw was his black hair falling over his cold, dead dark blue eyes.

  


As The Keeper made his journey back to shore, his mind was a tangled web of thoughts. Stuck here, all alone in this in-between. Well, humans were just annoying, right? So why did a small part of his heart long for another? Stupid, he'd been here for countless centuries and being alone hadn't bothered him. It wasn't always like this, pat of him said. He shook his head. Of course it had always been like this, delivering souls. He had never had a life, been a worthless human before. He existed purely to do this. To live this life alone for eternity. He tried to crush the voice telling him no one can be alone or eternity. And it wasn't his job to think what went o n beyond the gates, to wonder if people really deserved the certain torment and agony. He wasn't here to decide if people really were all that bad, was he?

So lost was The Keeper in his thoughts he almost didn't hear the bell informing him of another soul. As he approached the shoreline, he saw a boy about his age, maybe a few years younger, sitting waiting. There was something captivating about the boy although The Keeper couldn't quite say what. He had dark hair just past his shoulders and brown eyes The Keeper couldn't stare at for too long for fear of getting lost.

“Where am I?” asked the boy.

“The gates of hell”

“Hell huh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised really”

The Keeper breathed a sigh of relief. A person who had accepted his fate. This must be the first time ever.

“Come on” The Keeper held out a hand “Get in”

The boy reached out a hand but before he grasped, his voice rang out “Just one question first”

“What?” asked The Keeper.

“Ano-” The boy began “No nothing” he took the proffered hand and started to climb in the boat.

“No, tell me, what?”

“It's stupid. You have a job to do, you don't need a silly human asking you about human concepts”

“Like?”

“Don't you ever get lonely? Don't you ever need someone?”

“Sometimes,” The Keeper answered before he thought “Sometimes, but it is my fate to live alone for eternity, just like the souls I deliver have their fate” wait, his fate? Had he done something to deserve this? He couldn't remember. Before he could stop himself, he heard his own voice ask “You know where you're going, right? And you won't make a fuss, right? Why don't you keep me company for a few hours? Live one last time before you die?”

As soon as the words were out, he clamped his mouth shut. Why had he done that? Well, it wasn't against the rules was it? His inner voice said. You're going to take him where he belongs eventually o what's a few hours? He has the rest of eternity to suffer.

The boy's face broke into a smile “You mean it?”

The Keeper nodded and clambered out of the boat. As he did so he felt a hand playfully push him to the ground. “I'll get you for that!” he shouted playfully as the other boy laughed and squealed.

The 2 ran in the grass under the forever orange sky before collapsing under a tree, breathless and giggling.

“My name's Hiroto, what do they call you?” the boy eventually said “What do I call you?”

“I don't have a name” The Keeper said “Being alone for all eternity, I don't need one”

Hiroto thought for a minute. Finally, he piped up “I'll call you Kazumasa then”

“Kazumasa?”

Hiroto stood up, broke a twig off the tree and traced the kanji ' 一優 ' on the ground.

“Because you really are a kind person” Hiroto smiled.

'Kazumasa' smiled back and stood up, also breaking a twig using it as a mini-word to hit Hiroto's. “Hiyaa!” he yelled “The great samurai Kazumasa shall fell any foe in his path!”

“BANZAI! Until he meets the formidable Hiroto who will alone will stand against him and bring order to Japan!” Hiroto laughed.

“Little does Hiroto know Kazumasa has powers over the mind” Kazumasa laughed.

Who knows how long the boys played around for. Kazumasa knew he had never really been happy, never even understood the meaning until now. He didn't even want to think about what was to come, about giving his first and only friend up to his fate.

“So” Hiroto said at length “Aren't you going to ask me?”

“Ask you what?” Kazumasa blinked.

“Ask me why I'm here”

Kazumasa shrugged “That's your business Hiroto. I'm not here to judge your actions”

“I know, but you've been a better friend in these few hours than I've had in a long time. I WANT you to know what sort of person I am” Hiroto took his stick and began tracing circles on the ground “I was...a wasn't anything special. I had done my share of bad things but I had also done my share of good things. Anyway, my brother was killed. It was pretty gruesome, limbs cut off, insides spilled out. Anyway, I was the one who found him. I knew right away who had done it. I knew my brother was in with a dangerous crowd. Unfortunately, they were also a powerful crowd. They got away with it and I was imprisoned. They rose to power and fortune with one member of the group becoming prime minister. I couldn't take it. I...I took my own life.”

Kazumasa bit his lip. He knew suicides went to hell but was it really Hiroto's fault in this case? Surely anyone with a heart would feel hopeless in that situation. He knew he wasn't supposed to question 'right' and 'wrong' but he couldn't help feeling Hiroto wasn't wrong here. It wasn't like he'd tried to take revenge or anything.....

“Come on” Kazumasa said “It's time”

Both stood up slowly but Hiroto didn't resist and Kazumasa had to admire the way he accepted his fate and kept walking towards the inevitable. He had never met a human like this, one who knew he couldn't change and didn't even try.

“One question Kazumasa” said Hiroto looking out over the lake still always shimmering purple “What's it like in there? What torment awaits?”

“...I don't know Hiroto” Kazumasa confessed. And at that was the moment he made his decision. A fierce determination he had never felt before fell over him as he narrowed his eyes and set his jaw “And you aren't going to find out either. Come on” he grabbed Hiroto's hand and started to lead him in the opposite direction of the lake towards a line of hills he had never given a second thought to.


	2. 2/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kazumasa and Hiroto are running from hellhounds

“What-” Hiroto began as Kazumasa started to drag him up a hill “Kazumasa, what-”

“Come on” said Kazumasa “I don't know what will happen to me or us but I do know I can't give up the only friend I've had in eternity.”

“Kazumasa, you can't do this-”

“I can and I am. I made up my mind. I can't take you to that place” Kazumasa couldn't even say the word 'hell'. He couldn't bear the thought of Hiroto there.

 

As they crossed the hills, Kazumasa thought the sky was getting darker but he shook his head. The sky was always purple, wasn't it? The purple sky and orange sun were yet more constants in his unchanging life.

As the first stars began a twinkle overhead, he knew something was different.

“Hiroto, what...what's happening to the sky?” he asked.

“What, you mean getting darker?” replied Hiroto “This is night, haven't you ever seen night before?”

Kazumasa shook his head. After a long pause he slowly said “Maybe, when I was alive”

“You were alive?” asked Hiroto.

Kazumasa thought for a long time then shook his head “Ignore me, I don't know what I was talking about. Nothing has ever been different for me”

 

The two continued their trek for a while, hoping to put as much distance as possible between themselves and that place. Eventually Hiroto sat down on the ground and pulled Kazumasa down with him “Look at the stars, aren't they beautiful?”

Kazumasa leaned back on his hands and gazed up. They sat in silence for a while, simply enjoying each others' company and the glory of the night, Kazumasa's first night in memory. At length, he broke the silence “I think...I think I was alive once. Centuries ago, too long to comprehend.”

“Tell me about it?” Hiroto rested an arm on Kazumasa's shoulder.

“Hiroto...I'm ashamed, I don't think I was a good person” Kazumasa lowered his head.

“Kazumasa, it doesn't matter who you WERE, just who you ARE and you saved me from an awful fate. If you don't want to tell me then don't but remember I gave you your name because you are gentle and kind.”

Kazumasa was silent for a minute then continued “I was...I would lie, I would cheat, I would steal. I didn't exactly need to steal, we were a wealthy family, but I did anyway. I would tell people what they wanted to hear for my own gain. I had my choice of women and men and took full advantage. I surrounded myself with people but I never really got close or let any in. I suppose being alone in the afterlife was sort of ironic really. Anyway, our village started to suffer. Crops wouldn't grow so there was always a food shortage. There was no money to buy anything. Babies were dying, the population was dwindling. Eventually we were told kami-sama was angry and a sacrifice would have to be made. Well, everyone knew what a bad person I was so by sacrificing me, a double-purpose would be served. The anger would be appeased plus a problem person would be gone. No one minded, I don't even think my own PARENTS liked me. Of course, I tried to escape, lied my way through people. It did no good though, I was captured and the sacrifice was made. 

My spirit refused to move on though. I held a terrible grudge against the whole village, those I felt had wronged me. Day by day, I watched on, my spirit seeing them live the life that had been denied to me. My anger was like a festering wound, it grew worse and worse until it consumed me and was all I could think about. Finally, my anger and hate destroyed the village. As I heard the screams and saw the flames dance, I didn't care about what anyone had done, I cursed them all to hell.

In the aftermath, I still couldn't accept I had been denied life. I still refused to move on. And ever since, I have been cursed to this in-between, an eternity neither living nor dead.” he stopped and a single, solitary tear trickled down his cheek.

Hiroto wiped his cheek and moved closer “You're alright now, I'm here with you. Whatever we face, we'll face together”

“Hiroto, you're the first person in my death who has made me feel alive” Kazumasa moved closer until their lips were almost touching “I like you”

He closed the final distance between them. Hiroto found himself kissing back for a minute before pushing Kazumasa away.

“We can't Kazumasa”

“Why?”

“Because” Hiroto said “You said it yourself; we don't know what will happen. What if some force drives us apart?”

Kazumasa sighed and looked down. It was true, he didn't know what would happen. But he wanted Hiroto.

Hiroto just yawned “I'm sleepy” he announced.

Kazumasa rested his head down on a pile of moss as a pillow and held up an arm. Hiroto cuddled close and laid his head on Kazumasa's chest.

“Good night Hiroto”

“Good night Kazumasa. I'll be eternally grateful you thought I was worth saving”

 

The boys woke up to a strange sound.

“What's that?” asked Hiroto.

“It sounds like...” Kazumasa started.

“DOGS!” they both yelled.

Their eyes flew open wide as saucers and they trembled in fear. Before the could move, a dog burst through the bushes. At least, it looked like a dog except the obvious fact it had 3 heads, all snapping and gnarling. Hiroto obviously couldn't see it because he kept asking “Where is it? Where is it?”

The black beast grabbed Hiroto in the teeth of one head. Kazumasa knew he had to do something before one of the other gnashing heads took Hiroto in its sharp teeth and ripped him apart.

Something fell out of Hiroto's pocket and glinted in the sunlight. A knife. Probably what Hiroto used to kill himself. It didn't matter where it came from though, all that mattered was hurting the creature and saving Hiroto. Kazumasa aimed for the cheek of the head holding Hiroto and drew the knife across. The creature momentarily howled in pain and dropped Hiroto.

In those few seconds, all that mattered to Kazumasa was protecting Hiroto. He grabbed the boy, pulled him to his feet and didn't let go as they ran.

They jumped over a tiny stream and carried on running. Hiroto could feel the hot breath of the beast at his heels but he couldn't see it. A snap almost catching his foot made him run faster, fear more.

Kazumasa screamed and pulled Hiroto to the side just as the beast jumped up. Why could he see it and the other boy couldn't? It didn't matter, all that mattered were those teeth like knives and those fierce burning eyes.

It felt like they had been running for hours and there was some distance between themselves and the beast. The path was blocked by a sheer rock face which was going to be almost impossible for them to climb let alone the dog-beast. They knew they had to though, to save their souls.

Hiroto went first, scaling the rocks with more ease than one would expect. As Kazumasa started to follow, the dog reached them and jumped up, snapping all three sets of jaws closed just as he swung his legs up. Another half inch and bye bye feet, Kazumasa reflected.

They scaled the cliff face with the dog barking up at them but unable to follow. Hiroto lost his grip on the rock with one hand. Terror was etched on his face for a moment as the animal below saw what was happening and Hiroto could swear he could feel the elation in the unseen creature. He grabbed another stone jutting out and pulled himself to safety.

A foot or so further and the rock dipped inwards forming a small ledge. The boys gratefully climbed onto the ledge and sat to catch their breath.

“What was that?” asked Hiroto

“I don't know” answered Kazumasa “I think it was a hell hound but-”

“-But you could see it and you can only see if you have been to hell” Hiroto finished.

“Exactly. Well, that place was my own personal hell so maybe that's why” Kazumasa shrugged.

Hiroto lay a head on Kazumasa's shoulder. “Thank you for saving me again” he whispered.

Kazumasa stroked his hair “Anything for you Hiroto”

Hiroto turned to Kazumasa “I like you too but you know we can't be together”

“I know what you're saying Hiroto, I just want you to always know I will be here and protect you”

White flakes began to fall gently from the sky. Within a few minutes, a blizzard had begun.

“Snow. It's pretty but also cold” Hiroto said.

For the first time, Kazumasa noticed a cave behind them. “Let's go in there for shelter” he suggested.

They walked into the cave which didn't go far into the cliff at all. At the back, they found a fire with an old man sitting beside it.

“I'm sorry” said Kazumasa “We were passing by and got caught in the snow...”

“It's alright. Come, warm yourselves. I'm Nao”

“I'm Kazumasa and this is Hiroto”

Nao nodded, as if this information didn't surprise him. “What are you doing all the way up here? It's not often folks come up here”

“We're being chased” Explained Hiroto

“No you're not” Nao said.

“We are!” Kazumasa protested “A hell hound tried to rip us apart”

“Boys boys, there's no such thing as hell hounds. It's all in your mind. You must have done something you believe you deserve to be chased for. The afterlife is all in your head. Heaven, hell, kami-sama loves his children, would a loving father really judge you to a place of torment and pain? It's all in your minds, what you think you deserve” Nao poked at the fire.

“But...but...I was alone for centuries...” Kazumasa trailed off.

“Because you believed you deserved it. Kami-sama saved you, he brought you Hiroto who also needed someone. All you have to do is believe in your hearts you deserve a place you will be happy forever” Nao smiled at them both.

The boys looked at each other without saying a word. They drew closer together resting their heads on each other.

Nao smiled and from nowhere it seemed produced two candy canes and held them out. Hiroto reached out and took his immediately, Kazumasa looked at it with trepidation.

“What's this?” he asked, leaning over on all fours to sniff it. He snuffled, not unlike a dog even though they'd had plenty experience with a dog.

“It's a candy cane. You eat it, it's yummy” Hiroto informed him.

Kazumasa took the treat and with the wrapper still on, he tried to lick it and got a taste of plastic. When Hiroto showed him how to unwrap it, Kazumasa tried to bite down and hurt his teeth.

“No you suck it” Hiroto explained.

After the treat, both boys yawned.

“What was in that candy?” Hiroto laughed as Nao gave a knowing smile.

Kazumasa lay with his head on a rock which wasn't the most comfortable pillow but it worked. Just like the night before, Hiroto's head found comfort on Kazumasa's chest.

 

When they awoke, Nao was gone and the fire was flickering down. Sleepily, they exited the cave.

“Oh wow!” breathed Hiroto, looking down.

They must have been too busy running yesterday to notice the scenery, Kazumasa thought. It really was beautiful. Fields covered with white flowers. A river flowing through, the sun sparkling off the surface. Trees dotted the landscape here and there.

The path down the cliff was a lot easier than it had seemed coming up

“Well?” asked Kazumasa ”Would you like to try being happy here?”

Hiroto turned and kissed Kazumasa, a long, tender kiss.

“Yes. I would love to with you”

 

After eternal twilight, an everlasting summer day was perfect.


End file.
